It’s Mother’s Day here in the UK and its a day that for many, will conjure several emotions…
I’m sure that the high street and commercial media will be full of wonderful imagery and sentiments of perfect motherhood and family, but what if this doesn’t speak to you? What if for more than half of your life this one day has been a sad reminder of what you don’t have?
I’ve mentioned before in a previous blog post that I lost my mum to breast cancer when I was a teenager. I grew up initially trying to block out Mother’s day and then resenting it for several years. At University, I wouldn’t have plans, I wouldn’t be going home to take my mum out for lunch… I simply tried to ignore the day. I chose to hold my own days to remember my mother, such as her birthday, her anniversary; and not a seemingly random day that had been selected. *
That was how a saw this day for several years. Mothers Day just wasn’t a day that I would celebrate.
Fast forward to recent times…
I must have been pregnant for the first time over a Mother’s Day weekend. I remember thinking how lovely it would be to have a good and happy association with this day once again, I visualised our little family of three the following year, blissfully happy out in a country pub having a lovely little lunch. Could this be the solution to ease all those years if sadness?
But it wasn’t meant to be… And I went on to miscarry a four times. My dislike for Mother’s Day had returned once more.
It was probably the most isolating day, it felt like everyone was celebrating being spoiled by the little broods whilst rejoicing in the amazing bonds that they had with their own mothers, grandmothers even… I know this was not the case for everyone, but this is how the world appeared to me at that time.
Meanwhile, I had no mother here to hold and no child to behold…
Now, a couple of years on, even though we are so lucky to have had our rainbow baby, we won’t be doing anything ‘special’ for Mothers Day. We’ll spend a low-key day together, probably at home (which to be fair is pretty damn special).
So, I would like to share this day with those who have had difficult experiences of motherhood, and who struggle with the media and commercial furore that ensues. Today should be a day supporting those people too…
So much love and hugs to you all…
For the expectant mothers
Angel mothers of those who were taken too soon
Those who have lost their own mothers
The mothers trying to conceive
Mothers to stars who never got to say hello before they had to say goodbye
All the loving mothers
Big love to you all – I hope all manage to keep yourselves well on this day.
*On further reading Mother’s Day was originally known as Mothering Sunday – a day on the fourth week of Lent when you would visit your ‘Mother’ Church.