When I started OutOfHours blog I wanted to share my story of recurrent miscarriage and also help others in a similar situation if I could. So, with this in mind I have decided to write a series of blog posts about a few of the things that I did to help me deal with my miscarriages and how they may also help anyone going through recurrent pregnancy loss.
Please note – this blog post is based on my opinion and personal experience.
#5 THE ONLINE COMMUNITY
The fifth and final post of this series is dedicated to this little space online and others just like it. The online community was a surprising source of comfort to me at a time of grief following my third and fourth miscarriages, and also when I was in early pregnancy.
I had joined a birth group on Babycentre when I was first pregnant and annoyingly continued to receive email updates about this pregnancy (please can they stop these?). However, it was in one of these emails that there was mention of miscarriage and I was signposted to their Community space. Here there were links to forums about anything and everything, but most importantly for me, groups where several people were discussing Miscarriage, Missed Miscarriage, Pregnancy After Miscarriage…
It was here that I realised that I wasn’t alone. Unfortunately there were several other women like me – miscarriage, missed miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth, pregnancy after miscarriage and more… Each were sharing their journeys in real-time from trying to conceive (TTC), pee-on-a-stick syndrome (POAS), scanxiety, early pregnancy after miscarriage (EPAM). I picked up knowledge of all online acronyms fertility related! Some of these women were also sharing some clinical information which I must advise you do not take and always seek proper individualised medical advice… What I did find helpful was these ladies’ experiences of the different miscarriage clinics across the country and I suppose this may have helped me choose which clinic I wanted to be referred to for specialist investigation.
The ladies on the forums also shared their good news, their rainbow baby announcements! Although some can find baby announcements difficult, it was exactly what I needed to see. I needed to read stories of women who had experience recurrent baby loss but had managed to have a take home baby (THB). I needed to remain positive, to feel inspired, to feel that I too could have a rainbow baby.
The forums signposted to national guidelines, books and blogs that I would then read (I may do a post on this at a later date). I became a little preoccupied (okay, obsessed) with this, but it helped me to remain in a positive frame of mind and feel as though I was taking back some control by actively doing what I could to learn about recurrent miscarriage.
Ultimately it was the support that I had received from these online ‘strangers’ who knew exactly what I was experiencing that lead me to start this blog here… I hope that others may benefit from reading this blog either by finding out some useful clinical information or relating to my more personal stories and hopefully remain positive during the pursuit of a rainbow baby.
My journey with recurrent miscarriage will never be complete as it has affected me as a person forever and I believe this is also an important story to tell as some people wrongly assume the arrival of a rainbow baby equates to the end of years of hurt. Truthfully, it is an ongoing process that I am sure will take many years to slowly heal… But I am sure I’ll eventually get there.